Collecting Stars And Memories
by JessWho
Summary: "The second time he locks the Tardis onto a meteor entering the Earth's atmosphere he is taking her home. She hates him, hates that he is abandoning her, chaining her to this planet, because she's pregnant."


_A/N: In my head Alex and the Doctor would work as a sort-of-couple. I'll probably elaborate on this story because while this is a beginning-to-the-very-end fic, I would enjoy writing more on the realtionship between Alex and the Doctor, and Alex and Gene._

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><p>The Doctor offers her the universe and its corners, it sounds romantic, but she knows she is not the first and certainly will not be the last he offers it too. Unlike Pete, when the Doctor offers her the stars she knows he means it.<p>

He's a man with time and space at his disposal, but her first day in the Tardis - _technically second, but that's further on in her time line_ - is spent chasing shooting stars. The Doctor's always smiling when she turns to look at him, happy to indulge her, to give into the whims of her childhood, but the smile wilts at the edges when she turns away.

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The second time he locks the Tardis onto a meteor entering the Earth's atmosphere he is taking her home. She hates him, hates that he is abandoning her, chaining her to this planet, because she is pregnant. He makes a speech about it being her future, a fixed event.

He says he will visit, but she's not so ignorant as to believe him.

•

She has a little girl; Molly. The screaming bundle of soft limbs quietening into sleep as she whispers the gentle strands of a lullaby the Tardis taught her. Alex looks up at the closed curtains of the maternity ward, hoping to see them parted, because now would be the perfect time to see that ridiculous tuft of brown hair, but it remains resolutely unmoving.

Pete leaves six months later, she stopped loving him before that, but she still cries, because she doesn't think she can do this alone, doesn't want Molly to be without a father. If the Doctor knocks on her door tonight she would forgive him for not keeping his promises, but still he doesn't come.

•

When she meets him again it's 1982 and he doesn't know who she is, to say she's bitter is an understatement. Gene doesn't like him to start with, he doesn't pretend to either so it's easy to match his sentiments.

The Doctor's eyes follow her everywhere - _not in the hungry way Gene's do_ - like she's a puzzle. He questions everything about her; mostly the things about the future that she accidently slips into conversation, his eyes burning when she refuses to elaborate.

•

She misses being exclusively theirs - _Gene and Alex's table_ - now it's the Doctor's too. It has started rumours rippling through Fenchurch, the Doctor is oblivious as he always is about these things and everyone is either too scared or smart enough not to say anything within ear shot of Gene.  
>Ray is not quiet around her though, he makes a point of telling her with unquestionable interest and the hope of details.<br>Nothing's going on, there are no sordid evening spent up in her flat, more's the pity.

•

It's a mistake to keep Martin Summers a secret, to think she can handle it without their help and when the tape lands on Gene's desk she can feel time being snatched from under her feet. The look in his eyes, the anger in which he insult her on the lowest possible level sends her hurtling away.  
>She tells the Doctor everything and she forgets he hates spoilers, half of what she tells him is incoherent babbling about shooting stars and how anyone who has claimed to love her either lied, tried to kill her or abandoned her.<p>

•

Gene - _accidently_ - shoots her, and as she lays on the cold flagstone floor, her breathing laboured, she stares up at him. This is their ending, Alex wishing she could say something reassuring, something honest, but as the words come the wind turns and she opens her eyes to the inside of the Tardis medical bay. She floats for a while, the notes of her favourite lullaby wrapping themselves around her.

•

She walks out on him, because once he tells her '_no_', what is the point in hanging around? He watches her from the mouth of the barge as she walks back to her car, she doesn't look back at the man she wants to convince herself she only loves out of habit, because right now it's not his face she want to see. She wants Gene, wants to tell him she loves him, give him the forgiveness a man like him need would need, but she loves Molly more and the Doctor can't give her both worlds.

•

These days he is everywhere; standing at the back of the room, clapping with everyone else as she reads from her book. She's an over-night success, her Publisher is pushing for a second and a third. She smiles at him across the room and bypasses the press so she can whisper to Molly and point over to him, he waves and then he's gone.

•

He is there when she walks out of Tesco's and see's the Quattro, it's rusty and faded, but every bit as brilliant as she remembers. She sits in her car, the Doctor in the passenger seat holding her hand as they watch Gene Hunt drive away and she wonders what he thinks happened to her. She wants to explain, wants to feel the strength of his arm around her as he forgives her for leaving, but one look from the Doctor reminds her he can never know.

She leans out of her seat and kisses the Doctor's on the cheek and then on the mouth. She's relieved when he kisses her back, slow and deep. One hand slides from her hair, down her neck to rest against the strong beat of her heart as he sighs into the kiss.

•

She dabs at her eyes as Molly takes to the floor with her husband. Her daughter looks radiant and happy until she looks over at her, then the sadness seeps into her eyes, Alex forces a smile for her and tries not to think about all the things she will miss.  
>He offers her his hand, he's wearing a tuxedo and she teases him lightly, like she did when she was younger, not that she is old now or will get the chance to be. She catches Molly handing a disc to the DJ and then that enchanting lullaby fills the room. The Doctor's arms are strong, pulling her against him, her head resting against his chest as he guides her around the room.<p>

She can't keep up for long, soon it's all she can do to stand. Molly tries to get her to sit down, but Alex has determination by the bucket load, even if she doesn't have the strength and carefully slides her hand over the satin of her daughter's wedding dress. They sway softly, hands clasped behind the Doctor's back, their heads resting on a shoulder each.

•

The last time she races along side a shooting star with the Doctor is the first time Molly does.


End file.
